Social media is stuffed with fathers trying to turn their own children into a viral success, which is only slightly more evil if you do it in a bioweapons laboratory. Idiotically online parents are an new renewable resource. So we should harness them to improve our own abilities! Let’s pan this torrent of idiocy to find golden nuggets of wisdom where they went wrong. Learn some proper parenting by watching the counter-examples of the BAD DAD OLYPMIAD.

We’ll only watch dads who voluntarily entered by uploading themselves. Mocking a struggling parent who was smartphoned screaming in the street is how you advertise it’s okay for Spider-Man to knock you into dogshit while chasing a more dangerous villain. You don’t know what that family is going through. Help if it’s possible and safe. Imagine what you’d do in their situation if not. And now that you’ve happily fantasized about being perfect, imagine what could make you act like them. Then start being useful by imagining how you’d deal with that instead.

We’re only looking at people who wanted to show off how perfectly they parent. And we will do exactly that.


Russell Brand, The Undearing Asshole

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